garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I am spending my child support on dildos
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
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