just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
In other news, I just burned my penis
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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