She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
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