i permit you to call me
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
