You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
