turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
no you cant smoke seaweed
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
So. Much. Porn.
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