my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
