I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize