I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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