I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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