think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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