I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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