whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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