a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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