Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
