Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
