can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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