Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
