how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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