I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Sorry my hands just texted you
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
