i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Enjoy the penises
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize