Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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