I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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