Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
