Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
