But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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