whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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