When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
