After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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