the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups