real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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