I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
