mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
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