Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
