Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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