Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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