Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
