I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
