Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
