I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
