it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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