You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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