I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
