I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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