my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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