he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
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Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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