SEEEEXXX PLEASE
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
