mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
