Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
