Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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