The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
