Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
