i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
