I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You're a waste of cheezeits
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
