I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
