WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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