What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
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