the condom got lost in my hair
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Randomize
