Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
foreskin is a definite game changer
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
how do you play pong handcuffed?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
